Sometimes I feel like I have so much to say and share.

Still, I won’t deny the fact that I wonder if these words even matter. I find nothing special or unique about my experiences to date so my desire to be vocal about some things completely baffles me.

I’m looking for the why? I don’t think I have many fantastic stories to tell. When I look at my life’s scoresheet, I generally run low on the happy endings. On the other hand, I have lots of bad decisions, failure, pain; not the pretty stuff.

Then there’s this -> Who on earth doesn’t already have their own problems? Everyone’s lived and learned, right?

Allow me to take stock.

• Did I learn lessons? Most of the time.
• Did I find solutions? Here and there.
• So what do I want to share? All the above and then some.
• Why? I still don’t know.

I’ve never been very open. Talkative yes, but open, nah. I would much rather struggle in silence. A deep breath and biting my lower lip has often helped me soldier on. You see a brave face is just a mask, it has to come off eventually so you can encounter the real.

I’m learning that it’s ok to be afraid. It’s ok to admit that you are. It’s ok to not know what you’re doing. It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to accept help. Most of all it’s ok to not be ok.

Some stories I’m sure I will never tell 😉 but for those that I will, I pray that God will give me the courage to share the truth and eventually understand the why.